Usually I’m too slow on the uptake to participate in these blogging trends, but as your resident Spooky B*tch™ I just couldn’t resist this one. Thanks so much to Bee over at Mind Beauty Simplicity for the open tag; I’d highly recommend checking out her version, too. Now it’s my turn: I tag anyone who comes across this post. If you decide to give this a try, tag me in yours. I’d love to see your answers!

Now, onto the main event…

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Favorite horror or Halloween song?

This is an unfair question to ask someone who has worked at Hot Topic during multiple Halloween seasons. Roast them all you want, but HT certainly knows how to put together a killer playlist for spooky season! That said, these days I’m personally partial to anything from the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, or the Beetlejuice The Musical soundtrack. My friend also turned me onto an awesome cover of Monster Mash by the Misfits recently, which I’ve had on repeat.

I have a Halloween playlist on Spotify that you’re welcome to check out, if you’re looking for ideas for your own!

Name something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark forest or in an abandoned building.

Coulrophobia alert! I’ve had a “thing” about clowns since I was little. I’ve had full-blown panic attacks, in public, as an adult, because of clowns refusing to leave me alone. Here’s an idea for any clowns who might be reading this (although I’m not sure why they would be): if someone is repeatedly telling you they don’t want to interact with you, respect their boundaries!

Have you ever played with a Ouija Board?

I think “played” is the wrong word for it. There was a time when I refused to even be around one, and I totally understand why some people have that viewpoint. They can be dangerous in inexperienced hands. But I do think people would be less afraid of Ouija boards if they did their research and went in with the understanding that it’s a tool, not a toy. On that note, what buffoon decided to market a divination tool as a children’s toy?

Anyway, my personal rule of thumb for using a Ouija board: protect yourself, remember that you never really know who (or what) you’re communicating with and always say goodbye.

Favourite horror monster or villain?

Kiefer Sutherland’s character from The Lost Boys, David. No contest. I’ve always been fascinated by vampires in general, and The Lost Boys is by far my favourite vampire movie ever! I always thought David was just such a badass dude. And definitely scary when he wanted to be! The scene where Michael, Sam and the Frog brothers break into the vampire lair (which I always thought seemed like the coolest place to hang out!) to rescue Star and Laddie, and all the vampires are hanging upside down asleep, used to scare the crap out of me… in the best way!

The creepiest thing that’s ever happened while you were alone?

This will be a longer answer, so buckle up.

For context: I grew up in the country. We had a couple close neighbours but were mostly surrounded by farms, so there were a lot of fields around that my younger brother and I used to play in, including the one right behind our house. The farmer next door didn’t grow anything in that field for most of the year, it was usually just long grass, so he was kind enough to let us play there.

Anyway, one day I was babysitting my brother after school while we waited for our mom to get home from work. I was in the ninth grade, but we have a seven-year age difference so he was still pretty young. I was in the dining room with the patio door open, working on homework, when I heard my brother call my name from out back.

Right away I got annoyed, since the rule was that he could only go outside to play if I went out with him. But my brother was never one to follow instructions, and since we did play out there all the time it wasn’t too out of the ordinary. I looked out the open patio door into the back yard. Silence. I had just convinced myself I must have been hearing things when I heard him call my name again. Clear as a bell. It was coming from the back field. But there was nobody there… Just the long grass, waving silently in the breeze.

So I went out to the edge of our yard, right up to the shallow ditch that separated it from the back field. My brother was so little at the time that I wouldn’t have been able to see him unless I was up close, and I was worried that he had gotten lost in the grass and needed help.

I remember it being oddly silent. It was usually fairly quiet (it was the country after all) but looking back it was weird that I couldn’t hear any birds calling or even a tractor rumbling in the distance. So I marched up to the ditch and yelled my brother’s name: “Daniel!”

A second or so later, he called my name again. But his speech pattern was just slightly… off. Like he was stressing the wrong syllables when he spoke. At this point I was getting frustrated, so I yelled again: “Get the hell back here! I told you I have homework. We can come out and play when I’m done.”

Silence. So I yell again: “Daniel!”

“What’s your problem?”

To my shock and horror, my brother’s equally annoyed voice came from behind me, back at the house. When I tell you I practically jumped out of my skin… I turned around slowly and saw him, safely up in his bedroom where I had left him, glaring down at me through his open window. He said he had been up there the whole time. Well then. I booked it back to the house and locked the doors, refusing to look out any of the windows facing the back field until my mom came home.

Given the Internet’s current fascination with a certain cryptid of Indigenous origin, you may be thinking that you have an idea of what could have been lurking out there in the tall grass… and you may be right. The idea hasn’t escaped me. Of course, back then I had no idea, but I’m glad I had enough sense to get the hell back inside.

So, some words of wisdom: If you’re ever alone in the woods (or, in my case, a field) and you hear something calling your name, ignore it. Turn and walk away, don’t run. If you think you see something strange in the woods, don’t acknowledge it. And, for the love of god, don’t stray from the path. Keep your eyes on the path in front of you and get home… before it’s too late.

If you were dared to spend the night in a “haunted house,” would you do it?

Depends on how much you’re paying me. Just kidding, kind of. Most “haunted houses” aren’t haunted by anything other than memories and history. And maybe a few rats, skunks or raccoons. There was an abandoned house down the road from my house growing up (the same house mentioned in the story above) and it was a rite of passage for my group of friends to go there at night and get as close to it as we dared. I also lived in a haunted house for a while as a kid, so how bad could it really be?

Are you superstitious?

Not in the “black cat crossing your path” or “broken mirrors give you bad luck” kind of way, but I do have my own personal superstitions… Such as never ever whistling in the woods. But who doesn’t? At least I’m not my partner, who doesn’t believe in washing his football gloves during a winning streak. He’d rather just buy a brand new pair of gloves than wash the ones he has. I wish I was kidding.

Do you ever see figures in your peripheral vision?

Fun fact: I see shadow people all the time. In my experience they just like to observe, so I usually just let them be. I’ve never had one try to interact with me, but I’m sure if they did I wouldn’t be quite so calm and collected about it. Ha! As it is, I try not to say anything to whoever I’m with when I do see them, because it does tend to freak people out knowing there’s a shadow person nearby. Or they think I’ve finally had a psychotic break, which is also reasonable.

Which urban legend scares you the most?

I’m going to go with the aforementioned cryptid of Indigenous origin, since I’m pretty sure I’ve had an experience with one (see the story a little further up, if you skipped it, to find out more about that) and it terrified me. I won’t elaborate much on that because it’s not good to talk about them too much. But anything in the “windyboy”/sk*nwalker category of things that go bump in the night is a BIG no from me.

Do you prefer gore or thrillers?

Can I say both? I’m a self-proclaimed Gore Wh*re, but I also love when a story succeeds in scaring the daylights out of you through suspense and atmosphere alone. I think if I genuinely want a good scare I’ll go with a thriller, but if I’m just looking for mind-numbing entertainment I’ll throw on Saw or Hostel or something.

Do you believe in multiple dimensions or worlds?

Absolutely. To dismiss the multiverse as completely implausible would be naïve, in my opinion. Think of it this way: every time you make a decision, you create a new reality. There are even some big names in science who prescribe to the idea of a multiverse, such as theoretical physicist Alexander Vilenkin, who wrote about his theory of eternal inflation for Scientific American in 2011.

I mean, it may not look quite the same as the Marvel multiverse (otherwise I’m sure I would have had the TVA on my ass by now) but I could see it existing in some form or another. I believe in shadow people, and I think they must exist in a different dimension. But who am I to say?

Ever made a potion of any sort?

I used to make “potions” (usually a combination of mud, water and whatever else I could find at the time) all the time when I was a kid. As an adult I’ve experimented with tea and oil blends, balms, salves and even soups… Which are all types of potions, if you think about it. It’s not about what’s in the potion, it’s about the intention behind it.

Do you get scared easily?

Definitely. And I love that about myself–when it’s in a controlled environment, of course. There’s nothing quite like a healthy dose of fear to make you feel alive! I’ve always been into scary things, whether it’s a movie or a book or even a video game. I remember when I was young, every year the fair would come to town and I’d always head straight for the haunted house. It was one of those cheesy “dark rides” that takes you around a track with animatronics and strobe lights and the like. I would scream and wail through the entire ride, but as soon as we were out I’d beg to go on it again.

Have you ever played Bloody Mary?

Hell no. As you’ve probably gathered, I’m a spiritual person and I do believe in spirits. That said, I know all about the dangers of summoning dark entities. Why would you invite something like that into your life on purpose? Even if Bloody Mary doesn’t exist (which I’m sure she doesn’t) it’s never a good idea to open yourself up to that kind of thing. You never know who–or what–might take advantage of the invitation.

Do you believe in demons/the devil?

You mean this guy? Just kidding. I do, in a sense, but not in the biblical way. I believe there are forces for good in this universe that we can’t explain or understand–nor are we meant to. So, by that logic, there must be some kind of force for darkness out there as well. But I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. As above, so below. Every action has an equal opposite reaction, you know? It’s all about balance. Without the bad, we wouldn’t even notice the good.

You’re home alone but you hear footsteps in your house, what do you do?

Call 9-1-1. People are scarier than spirits… Not to mention a lot more dangerous.

If you got trapped in one scary movie, which would you choose?

Any of the Chucky movies. Chucky used to scare the ever-loving bajeezus out of me as a kid… But I’m older and wiser now, and I have complete confidence that I could punt that little creep across the room without a second thought. Besides, his weapon of choice is a butcher knife (perfect for ankle slicing) but, seriously, with arms that small his reach leaves much to be desired. Realistically, I think I’d manage just fine. Or maybe he, Tiffany and I would become a throuple? I guess I’ll never find out for sure.

If you could only wear one Halloween costume for the rest of your life, what would you be?

Definitely a pirate. But a hot pirate, obviously. It would be my honour and duty, as a human being of the bisexual variety.

Would you ever go to a graveyard at night?

Yes, of course. Graveyards are peaceful places, not scary ones. But don’t forget to leave an offering for the guardian, or that could change pretty quickly. They say the spirit of the very first person to be buried at a cemetery is tasked with guarding it. Sometimes they’ll bury an animal there first to serve as the guardian, so the human souls that will be buried there later on will be able to rest peacefully.

If I know I’m going to be visiting a graveyard, I like to bring a silver coin or even some fruit for the spirit guardian. But in a pinch, even something like a pretty rock you found on the ground can work. Like I said above, it’s not about what you offer but the respect and intention behind it.

In a zombie apocalypse what is your weapon of choice?

Need I say more?

Would you rather go to a Halloween party or go trick or treating?

Definitely to a party, although I haven’t been trick or treating in years. Maybe it could be fun?

You’re in a horror movie. Are you the final girl, the first to die, the comic relief, the skeptic, the smart one, or the killer?

Well, I’m definitely not “innocent” enough to be the final girl, so that’s one crossed off the list. I’m not funny, so I can’t be the comic relief. I like to think I’m smart, but I don’t do well under pressure so I wouldn’t be the smart one in this case. I’m definitely not a skeptic when it comes to the supernatural, as you have probably guessed, so that leaves the first to die or the killer.

I’d love to say I would be the killer. However, I have been known to sneak away from social gatherings to partake in some “wacky tobaccy” as my Dad would call it, and that’s classic first-to-die material. Damn, well, that sucks.

Do you have to watch something happy after watching a horror movie so you can go to sleep?

Not at all, I fall asleep to horror movies all the time. The only one I had to put something happy on afterwards in recent memory was Hereditary, because obviously. But I don’t think all the episodes of The Office in the world could free my mind of that experience. If you’re looking for a movie that is guaranteed to get under your skin (and stay there) for the most horrific reasons, Hereditary is the movie for you.

Check out my list of the 50 ookiest, spookiest movies for the Halloween season for more movie recs!

While watching scary movies, are you the person who yells at the characters, the person with their eyes covered the whole time, or the person who falls asleep?

I definitely yell at the characters… As if I’d do any better. It makes me feel better, okay!? I also cover my eyes if I think there’s going to be a jump scare… Meanwhile my partner is snoring away on the other end of the couch.

Are you the one who gets scared, or the one who does the scaring?

As I mentioned, I scare easily. So naturally, I’m generally the one who is scared. My partner gets me all the time. You’d think I’d stop falling for it after being scared by him so many times, but alas… He gets me every time. I think it might be fun to give someone a little scare, though. I’m just not very scary! I’m a lover at heart, not a scarer.

Favorite scary book?

This is a great question. Horror is my favourite genre to read, although it’s a lot trickier to write. I have so many to recommend, how could I possibly narrow them down? Should I do a scary book blog at some point?

If I had to choose, the book that sticks out most in my mind is The Tommyknockers by Stephen King. It was the first real horror book I ever read, and I barely slept for weeks afterward. It’s an oldie but a goodie. The Tommyknockers sits at the intersection of horror and sci fi, which may not be for everyone but I personally enjoyed it. The imagery was so visceral, which is unsurprising since when it comes to description, no one does it better than King. The way Gard describes the physical transformation of Bobbi’s “becoming” still makes my stomach turn.

It’s funny, because King later turned around and admitted that he hated The Tommyknockers, calling it “an awful book.” It was the last book he wrote before committing to sobriety, and he felt it would have been better if it were re-written at half its original length. Maybe it’s because I read it at such a young age that it left such a lasting impact on me, but I think it’s great as is.

How old were you when you saw your first horror movie?

I saw Child’s Play when I was six or seven and it ruined my life. I mentioned this briefly in my Halloween movie post, but my cousin brought it over and we waited until our parents went to bed to watch it since we knew there was no way we’d be allowed… Well. That was when I learned that if I’m not allowed to do something, there’s probably a reason for it.

I had a collection of porcelain dolls on a shelf that ran along the top of my bedroom wall, around the entire circumference of the room. Relatives would get me one for my birthday and Christmas every year, so I had quite a few. I’m not sure how that started, I never saw the point of them since I wasn’t allowed to play with them anyway. But after watching that movie I made my mom throw every single one of the dolls away, because it seemed like they were surrounding me from all sides and looking down on me while I was in bed. No thank you!

What was your first Halloween costume?

Well, I thought it was a pumpkin but as it turns out that was my second Halloween costume. Upon double-checking with my mom just now, I have been informed that my first costume was actually a bunny. That’s pretty on-brand for me, honestly.

What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

I honestly don’t have anything planned. Normally every year my best friend throws an epic Halloween party, but it understandably got cancelled this year and last due to COVID, so we pretty much just plan on staying in, watching horror movies and maybe carving a couple pumpkins. I’ll probably just be a witch, since that fits my daily aesthetic anyway. But here are a couple photos of my favourite costumes over the years, since I didn’t really have an answer for this question:

If you could have a spooky Halloween pet (black cat, owl, bat, rat, wolf), what would you pick?

I absolutely adore owls, but as much as I wish I could live my Harry Potter fantasy they don’t belong in captivity. I’ve had a rat before and that was fun. They’re cute and so smart. But I already have a silver cat, isn’t that spooky enough?

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© Victoria St. Michael 2021